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I love the Saint Louis Cardinals. I am a huge Pujols/Carpenter/Molina fan, although I confess that I like Molina mainly because his first name is Yadier. Having said that, I think baseball is completely ridiculous, and a disturbing new trend is developing wherein teams celebrate every tiny milestone as though it is the World Series.

Don't get me wrong. I am all in favor of embracing the wonderful things that happen in life as it seems that the messages we see most often involve doom and gloom. However, can we put away the cases of champagne until you win a game that actually means something? I do not have a photographic memory by any means, but I cannot recall an NFL team or even an NBA team having an all-out party just for making the playoffs. If ever there was a group of professional athletes with an exaggerated sense of self-importance and diva-esque behavior, it is the NBA, and even they have the self-respect to save the confetti for when they actually achieve something worthy of a t-shirt on QVC.

A few days ago, the Boston Red Sox lost to the Toronto Blue Jays. Later that day, the Texas Rangers lost to someone and, in so doing, clinched Boston's place in the post-season. Certainly, there would be a sense of relief at having backed their way in to the playoffs, but certainly, they would not have a champagne shower-fest, right? Wrong. After waiting around hoping for the Rangers to lose, the 9-games-behind-the-Yankees Sox partied like it was 2007. To their credit, they didn't let the media in to capture the festivities on film because that might make them look silly. Maybe it is a tree-falling-in-the-forest thing, but I think that the coverage of your contrived party does not make you appear like a 5-year-old getting a participation trophy. You look like that whether the cameras are there or not.

Sadly, I think this reflects a disturbing trend in America in general. I am talking about everybody needing to feel important and special all of the time. I don't bust out the streamers every time I see a new patient. Do you know why? Because it is my job...the thing that I get paid to do well. The sad truth is that these grown men who make too much money to play a game that involves more standing and sitting than actual movement apparently need more validation that they are awesome. If the regular season division winners get a gala held in their honor, I think it only appropriate that the 100-game losers get to be stoned as they leave the stadium by season-ticket holders who pay money earned at jobs where if their performance is sub-par they get fired.

Also disturbing is the plastic tarping of the locker rooms and goggles worn as they break into spontaneous and emotionally-driven revelry. GIVE ME A BREAK! If you are going to party like Pacman Jones in a Vegas strip club, just do it Take the protective eye wear off. You aren't weed eating or welding for crying out loud. You are taking a beer/wine bath to celebrate the fact that you still haven't won anything. Put the booze down, finish out the season, and call me when you win a pennant.

If the reality is that MLB is doing its part to sustain the struggling sparkling wine/goggle/plastic sheeting industry, I sincerely apologize and withdraw my criticism.